Wedding Tips

Article Library:

First, let's get this very clear. Having pre-nuptials jitters DO NOT mean you are having second thoughts about the wedding or your fiance! It's just your excitement getting the better of you.

Marriages are about letting go, adapting to someone else and your new sense of who you are. And for women, it's not just one person she needs to adapt to, it's an entire family, a whole new clan.

Okay, maybe you knew you'd face all these the moment you decided to get hitched and would have prepared yourself by now. But the tension of setting up a whole wedding ceremony, the countless relatives and their endless queries can push you off the edge sometimes. So it's absolutely natural to suffer from occasional panic attacks! It happens to everyone.

Men, face it. No matter how much you deny, you are just as nervous about the BIG event as your girl! The moment the wedding bells start ringing, thoughts are bound to start whirling inside our heads. But instead of addressing them and sorting things out, most men try to hide behind a pseudo-confident stance. This, my friend, can lead to trouble - making you feel miserable and ultimately putting your and your wife's happiness at stake in the long run. Quit shying out. It does not make you less of a 'Man' if you talk about your problems!

Even when you are perfectly happy to find your soulmate, the idea of making a commitment for the rest of your life can feel overwhelming. For men, making the choice to get married brings with it a lot of expectations. Despite changing gender roles in our society, men are still looked at as being the primary providers. They are supposed to be the one more 'responsible' to sustain the family.

So naturally, many men equate bachelorhood with freedom—doing what they want to do on their own terms, when they want to do it. Being a bachelor means hanging out with the guys, no strings attached - fun times. Marriage may feel like walking into a new role, with new responsibilities and many men wonder if they’re up to this change in identity.

So here are some stress-busters for you. Remember, just because you’re getting married, it doesn’t mean you have to be with your fiancé all the time! Go to your weekly poker games, play football with the ‘para’ friends or hang out with colleagues after work. You want to keep your circle of friends an acquaintances open, and spend time socializing both with and without your fiancée. She’ll want to have time out with her girlfriends too, so don’t feel badly about keeping up with your buddies. This makes it easier for you to realise that marriage doesn’t mean getting tied down!

However, it IS important to acknowledge that engagement is a time of transition—and it is a process to say good-bye careless boyhood and feel confidant about getting married. The minute the fixing-the-Big-date is done, start preparing yourself mentally. Once the whole idea of being a ‘committed man’ settles in, the transition to a ‘married man’ would be a cakewalk!

While most pre-wedding jitters turn out to be just nerves, the persistent nagging feeling can draw trouble. Say you've tried all stress-busting techniques, but you're still consumed with feelings of fear and dread. Pay attention to those feelings. While some anxieties are normal and healthy, strong emotions that don’t go away are not. You may be aware on some level that this relationship just isn’t working or that you just aren't ready to make a commitment at this time.

If you think that your jitters are of a more serious nature, do seek out a counsellor who would reflect what you are feeling and help you out. It is much healthier in the long run—for you and your fiance—to end an engagement rather than proceed with a wedding that doesn’t feel right.

Wedding ceremonies hold a promise of great gastronomic delights for all those attending them. And especially for the food-loving bongs, it's a feast all day through. Luchi-chholar daal, aloo bhaja, sweets... the only one losing out on them all is the poor bride. The Dodhimongol, or curd-rice at insanely early hours in the morning is the first and last meal she has till the sindoor graces her part, which mostly happens much late in the night! Smiling bravely at vaguely familiar faces with hunger pangs is not easy at all! So here are a few tips for you to keep food-cravings at bay:

1: whenever you can, try walking briskly around the house, the lawn, terrace, anywhere. Brisk walking helps curb hunger.

2: along with the Dodhimongol concoction, try chewing up some nuts. Almonds, cashews, peanuts can keep you feeling full for a long time.

3: drink lots of water throughout the entire day. Try having some hot black tea too if you can. This keeps hunger at bay.

4: try smelling some peppermint! Believe it or not, it does reduce appetite!

5: but contrary to the common belief, chewing gum can make you hungrier than you already are! Avoid them by all means.

6: the afternoon of the wedding would have nothing to do with you. So take a few hours of sound sleep. Sleeping will reduce appetite and make you look fresher at the end of the day!

It goes without saying; do not jump into a marital alliance before knowing your future spouse thoroughly. In the initial dates, everyone is at his or her best. They seem to be considerate, broad-minded, smart, witty and everything perfect. Make sure you know the person long enough to make out if that is his or her true personality, or just a trick to impress. And even after you are sure your wavelengths match perfectly and you two are meant to be together, DO under go the medical tests to ascertain a perfect future together.

Dangerous genetic disorders do attack even the best of people. Get this clear, not all HIV positives or thalassemia carriers are unscrupulous philanderers! And besides, blood group testing is equally important - negative Rh factors lead to complicated pregnancy. So, even if you trust him or her with your life, or have confidence that you have no diseases at all, let the test reports confirm that both of you and your unborn children would be fine. A few tests both of you should undergo:

• Tests for HIV and AIDS and other venereal diseases
• Test for Rubella (also known as German Measles, a disease that is very dangerous to foetuses)
• Tuberculosis
• Thalassemia
• Sickle-cell anaemia
• For more information on pre-marital tests, consult your physician today
  
  

• If you haven't already had yearly pap smears and gynaecology exams, now is a good time to schedule a visit. It's best to have a complete pelvic exam to check for any abnormalities.
• Discuss your plans for either contraception or potential pregnancies with your doctor. Figure out which type of birth control is best for you and your future fertility.
• A complete general physical exam that includes laboratory testing and a discussion about your family medical history and potential health risks is important for both you and your future spouse. Make sure that your immunizations are up-to-date at this appointment.